What Matters

November 26, 2018

 

 

I apologize for the lack of recent updates. The terrible fires raging in California have impacted me on a personal and professional level and updating my site seemed a distant second to connecting with those impacted by this tragedy. 

 

I'll start with a brief update of a strictly personal nature; my wife and I (as well as our son who is part of my current production) were on our way to Michigan when the fires began to reach their peak. We were fortunate to be already in the Midwest when the major consequences from the Southern California fires were being realized. 

 

Over the last few weeks I have been in a fog mentally; my new adopted home in Michigan could not be better. The people have been amazing and I am admittedly excited to embark on the next stage of my "career" in producing content that will (hopefully) entertain and generate revenues for my charitable pursuit. Juxtaposed with this feeling was of course the horrific feeling of watching the homes and businesses of many people who I have been involved with both personally and professionally burn to the ground (coupled with, of course, the hundreds of people whom although I may not know directly I feel empathy for in their personal and professional losses). I truly feel the Dickens line "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times"....

 

Having time to reflect in a space where incredibly good and bad life experiences are colliding, I can't help connect more deeply with my life's version of the "bigger picture". 

 

I realize that my life, more than most, is comprised of unbelievable highs and soul-crushing lows. I have been a "celebrity" and broke bread with people whose own iconic stature has afforded them the rank of historical figure. I have also had the "opportunity" (via cancer) to literally stare my mortality in the face at a time where it felt unnatural and unexpected....i.e. "tragic". Watching the devastation in California (mixed in with the ongoing political nonsense both domestically and around the globe), I think my reactive move was to go through extreme memory recall, good and bad, as some way to find a path to "make sense of it all". I'll tell you, I came up short in this pursuit. 

 

I didn't find answers because I don't know if I even knew the questions I was posing to myself. In realizing this though, maybe I did find the answer after all. I am Brett Hudson. I played bass around the world...I have been the star of a television show and a movie....I have friends you have heard of...I have friends you haven't....I have been told I was going to die from a terrible disease...I have made a million dollars....I have been poor....I write and direct...I love my wife, my kids, my grandchildren....I miss working with my brothers...I hate working with my brothers....up and down...down and up. 

 

None of the previous paragraph makes me invincible....makes me immune from a natural disaster....makes me more "special" than anything or anyone. I don't even know if any of the above, alone or combined, even really makes "me". I just know what matters is I be able to look at myself and not hate what I see. Not loathe myself nor loathe what I feel I "have to do"....hell at my age I am thankful I left "have to do" in the rearview mirror long ago. I say all this because if the tragedies that are seemingly coming far too often and are of a far too scary magnitude are going to teach us anything I am hoping its a humility and an appreciation. 

 

Its impossible in any reflective moment for me not to go back to my friendships with people like John Lennon and Harry Nilsson. Brilliantly accomplished and also brilliantly "normal" and flawed. I always felt like they just "got it"....that they understood life. They could see through the bullshit and embrace the seemingly mundane and appreciate its intrinsic value. I miss them both everyday but am thankful for them giving me the gift of self-realization. 

 

I am a poor kid from Portland. I played in a band with my brothers. I have been all over the world. I got to be "famous" for a moment. I married the girl of my dreams. I beat a death sentence. I watched my children come into the world; I got to watch my daughter bring my amazing grandchildren into the world. I am still working to entertain people and have now added a charitable component to the process. I am, at the end of the day, whatever I can put out into the world and hope that is something good. 

 

I remain hopeful we can all recognize this is the "what matters" and not need tragedy and despair to remind us. As always, all my love to you and remember....lets kick cancer's ass!

 

                                                                                                                         Brett

 

 

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